Darn You, Lisa! Five Things

My sister-in-law Lisa asked me to participate in 5 Things About You thing on the blogosphere. First of all, she must smell my discomfort zone. I love that all the family blogs I read are linking each other up and opening their audiences. However (BIG however)  my natural instinct is to run away quickly. I get that itchy feeling like I got back in the good 'ole Eighties when you would receive a mysterious handwritten letter in the mail, open it and realize, Oh darn another fracking Pretty Panty Exchange letter. You don't know what I am talking about? Check out this.

For the record, I never got one pair. Not one. I mailed many, and I never got a single one. My panty mailing in 2013 would totally be sexual harassment or sexual predator or something sexual that results in a restraining order. 

And yet I know Lisa. I love Lisa. I adore Lisa. She is the sister-I-never-had Lisa. So I will acquiesce. Only because she is my dear Lisa. But be warned--I am not tagging any folks. I kill the panties here.


5 Thangs about No Basement

1) I have noticed no one can simply call me "Julie." Whenever people see me, my entire life in fact, they always say my first and last name. It was always "Julie C***K" (maiden name. I have stalkers. No joke...another story) or now "Julie Gale." Why is that? And usually with that uptick accent that makes me sound like mint julep-sipping lady of the South. The only thing "lady of the South" about me is I can make a mean chili and I like my crazies.

Mystery of the universe....why can no one simply call me Julie?

2)  For most of my childhood, I was the tallest girl in my class. I was so glad when Beverly Scott, the most beautiful person ever, got taller than me. Boys mercilessly made fun of me. They told jokes like, "If I asked you out on a date, I would be eye level to your ta-tas all night!" Okay, Napoleon boys. As a result I have crummy posture, hunkering down to most folks. In fact, I am considering wearing a posture brace over the summer to correct my shoulder blades from years of teenage self-consciousness.  

3) I hate grading papers so much I actually attempt to have as few assignments as possible to grade. I would rather eat glass than grade. I procrastinate it to the point of madness. Today I graded nearly all day. Welcome back from Spring Break.

4) I was a vegetarian through most of college. To this day, I am not a huge fan of meat. I prepare it for my family and eat it, but I could take it or leave it. I could eat here nearly every day.

5) On that note, many people wonder why I am so darn thin. They think I surely must be harboring an eating disorder. I have found three things keep me thin: a) I got so many metabolism/thyroid problems, you don't even want to know, b) I don't drink soda, and c) I deprive myself of nothing. If I eat a huge, indulgent meal one evening, I make lighter fare for the next. I eat chocolate everyday. I also don't eat "fat free" or fake sugar/dairy/butter stuff. It is full of chemicals anyway. I don't exercise nearly as much, and if I know one day it will catch up with me. I have a rather regimented eating/snacking schedule I follow to keep my blood sugar on even keel and prevent mind-numbing, headache-inducing hunger pains. Constant grazing throughout the day really helps me. Unfortunately, I have had my share of "gawd you are so thin, I totally hate you" comments in my life. Well, I don't hate me, so there.

Done!