This week I began auditions for my directorial debut at the college. I am directing some short works of Samuel Beckett. Theatre of the Absurd at its finest.
Did I mention I like to challenge myself to the point where I scream, "THIS IS TOO HARD! I CAN'T DO IT!!" on a routine basis? After the auditions last night and reading the script for the 100th time, I thought, "Yes, oh yes you can do this."
Then Samuel Beckett looked me straight in the eye:
She gets a lump in her throat. Pause. Reflects. Pause. Stares at her hands. Pause. Reflects. Hears a whistle. Moves in the direction of the whistle. Pause. Reflects. Considers against it. Pause. Reflects. Stares at her hands. Pause. Sucks it up. Pause. Starts directing.
Oh my gosh, I just made the biggest theatre nerd reference in the history of theatre nerd references. I feel better getting it off my chest, though.
In all honesty, writing this blog feels like an absurd task of futility and incertitude. Am I just sawing away and no one is reading it? Is the sound of my own voice signifying nothing?
Pause. Reflects. Eats a cookie.